New year, new asinine listicle New year, new me indeed! Wondering what's going to be hot in 2022? Not a fan of independent thought or too stupid to read an entire article of satire? WikiLeeks has you covered -- here is what our dedicated staff of zoomer staffers understand will be poppin' in the new … Continue reading WL Culture: HOT TRENDS FOR 2022 →

"See you in Hell, jabronis." One of Tinseltown's brightest lights dimmed just before the dawn of the new year. Friday evening, America said goodbye to Betty White, the 99 year-old entertainer famous for her roles on Golden Girls and The Mary Tyler Moore Show, as well as her many charitable endeavors. The recently departed actress … Continue reading “She ruled with an iron fist”: Hollywood Bids Goodbye to Nonagenarian Tyrant →

Two weeks ago, a series of deadly tornadoes – a meteorological phenomenon not commonly seen in the United States during the winter months – ripped through five states in America’s heartland. While rescue teams continue to sort through the rubble, the human cost stands at over 100 lives lost, with additional destruction affecting - most … Continue reading Where is your God now? Bible Belt Ravaged by Tornadoes →

I don't want a lot for ChristmasThere is just one thing I needI don't care about Omicron, or the 1/6 committeeI just want to stop Hilary's pedo pornTil that fine day when we StormMake my wish come trueAll I want for Christmas is Q…MERRY XMAS 2021... WE'RE BACK BABYYYY

11 April 2020 Yesterday was Good Friday, the day that Christians celebrate the murder of Messianic Savior Jesus Christ at the hands of the Jews before his Easter Sunday resurrection in fulfillment of the scriptures. However, Jesus informed followers this year that he would instead be sheltering-in-place in at his dad's place in Heaven this … Continue reading Jesus on 2020 Resurrection: “Uh… I’m Good, Fam” →

9 April 2020 Last week, President Donald J Trump summarily dismissed the Inspector General of the United States intelligence community, Michael Atkinson. Atkinson was dismissed for having delivered the whistleblower complaint to congress that kicked off January's impeachment fiasco. A key figure in that same saga, Colonel Alexander Vindman, was also gleefully dismissed last month. … Continue reading Trump Purges Government →

9 April 2020 "This can't be happening... Not right now... Please... For the love of God.... Not right now." Local resident James Berghoff found himself saying these words to himself in desperate, hushed tones early Monday morning following a strong cup of coffee and his routine morning constitutional. Despite several attempts to unclog the toilet … Continue reading Quarantine Updates: Man Paralyzed with Fear as Water in Clogged Toilet Slowly Rises →

2 April 2020 WOW. WOW. Wee wow wow... Hey guys! How is you doings?! Is seeming like the every time Vlad is writing you, the world has put on its crazy pants! Vlad is loving to put on crazy pants every once in while - especially to celebrate when rival oligarch is sent to gulag … Continue reading Just Putin’ Around: CORONA SPECIAL →

31 March 2020 Another day of coronavirus, another frighteningly increased round of casualties and new deaths as a result of the ongoing crisis. So it goes. Perhaps it is no surprise that many people across the world have taken to social media - not just to post boredom-inspired memes - but to celebrate the nation's … Continue reading “It turns out we were in it for the money all along… Fuck.” – Majority of US Medical Practitioners →

31 March 2020 Hello fellow grammarians and loyal disciples of the English language! My name is Josh Gates and I'm a seventh grade English teacher at a school district in one of America's major urban centers. Like many Americans, I've been stuck working at home during the last two weeks. As my state's governor has … Continue reading WL Semantics Police: Postponement vs. Cancellation →