15 March 2019
Early Thursday, Members of Parliament from the United Kingdom voted 312-308.75 to reject a no-deal Brexit in the coming months.
With this vote, the UK parliament has no voted 7.34 times in the last six months regarding the minutia of the UK’s Brexit from the European Union.
WL British correspondent caught up with several politicians and members of the British general public to understand more about what is being voted on, what the results could mean for the UK’s future, and when the American version of Love Island would premier stateside.
Alastair Darling St. Fitzbenjamin Crooks, the MP for Bradford outside London, confirmed the state of confusion in Parliament.
“Bugger me! Bloody votes don’t bloody add up to nought but a sticky wicket, innit?” Fitzbenjamin Crooks queried with a hearty laugh and slap on the back of WL’s correspondent before stripping nude to run the halls of Westminster with the Union Jack while singing Arne’s “Rule Britannia.”
When asked about her perception of her own nation’s domestic politics, Mackenzie McMackenzie Potts, a middle class mother of three from Shepherd’s Bush, noted, “Oh, bless your likkle heart! Fancy a cuppa, dear?”
Finally, among England’s lower class, the perception is more critical than confused.
“Well honestly, I think May and Tory’s Brexit initiative was flawed from the outset. The issues you are seeing regarding the votes demonstrate the ambiguous possible lack of a popular mandate and the growing disconnect between the British public and their political representatives,” Ali Sheikh Gazrui, a resident of East Staines told WL.
“You can’t be too bothered about the death throes of a neurotic, imperialistic little island or the inscrutable, gibberish speaking citizens who populate it.”
In the astral realm of domestic stardom, Ed Sheerhan briefly commented, “Brexit? Nah love, ‘aven’t ‘eard of it… Fancy a line of ketamine?”
WikiLeeks News Services 