Met Gala Proceeds Despite Controversial Theme

8 May 2019

If it’s Spring in New York City, the change of the seasons can only mean one thing for Mid-Atlantic fashionistas: The Annual Met Gala for the Association for the Benefit of New York’s Wealthy, Affluent, and Conspicuous.

From its earliest days as just one of the many fundraiser gala’s frequented by New York Society’s elite to its current status as one of the premier fashion events of the year, the Met Gala celebrated it’s 2019 fundraiser with the controversial theme of “Inequality.”

The events chair and organizer – Anna Wintour of Vogue magazine (and designer of the costumes of the Incredibles) –  expressed a fresh perception of “hope and lightness” associated this year’s theme.

“From the itinerant Okies to today’s inner city minority communities, America has such a rich history of poverty that people like me can vicariously ogle and manipulate for our own amusement,” Wintour said as she broke the neck of a baby Dalmatian and casually threw it onto a stack of rare furs to be used in the show.

Wintour, who oversees the guest list, kills all the animals personally, and ensures the ritual sacrifices of her organization’s top interns in order to appease the Gods of Fashion, is especially excited for this year’s gala.

“This year Serena Williams is co-hosting, and we’re just so excited…. Obviously, she will be needing to lose about 30 pounds and tone down that, um, “urban spirit” shall we say, if she wants to remain an American icon at this particular venue,” Wintour, who once notified Oprah Winfrey of the same requirement before a photo shoot, said in a melodic albeit strained voice.

Despite criticism, Wintour and her associates claim this year’s theme of Inequality is entirely appropriate.

“Listen; fashion is not for everyone – how could you be on the cover of Vogue if you aren’t wealthy and good-looking? If I hadn’t been a transatlantic trust fund child, I certainly wouldn’t presume to behave the way I do. But, thankfully, I was born into it. Besides, we have a generations-old philosophy of not dealing with fatties and poorsies.”