Greetings and welcome to WikiLeeks News and Entertainment Services, your source for the latest breaking news and analysis of current events! Responding to the ostensible need created by the loosely organized, predatory incompetence of the mainstream media, WikiLeeks currently employs more than 100+ professional reporters across all seven continents so that YOU – the enlightened reader – can make your own informed decision about what is occurring in America and throughout the World.
“Great journalism will always attract readers. The words, pictures and graphics that are the stuff of journalism have to be brilliantly packaged; they must feed the mind and move the heart.” – Rupert Murdoch
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Extended material on this site may appear to the little read as vulgar, profane, offensive, tasteless, crass, tawdry, gaudy, indecent, indelicate, distasteful, crude, salacious, ribald, bawdy, and, in the most general sense, conceived and written in extremely poor taste.
Please understand that the writing in these articles is fictitious and represents the unique viewpoints of WikiLeek’s professional editorial staff. Names, characters, places, ideas, abstractions, notions, hankerings, suppositions, and product advertisements are entirely the products of our authors’ imagination. Any such relationship between content (explicit, implied, or otherwise) and reality is fundamentally coincidental and most likely both quite clever and well-written.
While real names, locales, events, et cetera may be used, their utilization itself is purely for the creation of aesthetic environment, motifs, themes, and other such things you should have learned about in 9th grade English. Any resemblance to any actual individual on any plane of conceivable consciousness, be it living, dead, or the Vampiric purgatory occupied by Mike Pence and the Legions of the Undead, is entirely coincidental and unintended.
While our Editor-in-Chief maintains that WikiLeeks should be required reading in every public high school to complement the current curriculum of pornography, Nike Ads, and Boxcar Children novellas, the material on this site is intended for those of an age who have applied for selective service and/or can legally purchase a pack of Marlboro 27’s at 7/11 (18 years of age nationally, 12 in Nebraska).
WikiLeeks humbly thanks you for taking the time to read our work. We sincerely hope that our work brings a smile to your day or, rather, makes you pause for an extra second of laconic contemplation on the day’s issues. Most importantly, however, the minds behind WikiLeeks hope to remain in a state of relative non-incarceration. While most of us are white, male, and/or Russian Botnet agents (making this generally not too difficult a proposition), we appreciate your disavowal of attitudes and actions that are litigious, belligerent, or overly eristical regarding any and all members of our community.
Thank you for reading, contemplating, and engaging. As an organization, we are committed to making you laugh. On a much more “real AF” level, however, we are much more strongly committed toward maintaining our individual rights and freedoms outside of a penitentiary.
Cheers,
AD + The WikiLeeks Team
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