27 March 2020 As America wakes up to another day of increased infections and new deaths from the rampaging coronavirus pandemic, the President is attempting to put a positive spin on his administration's handling of the ongoing crisis. "In short, I think we're doing fucking amazing," Trump told press Tuesday afternoon, dapping up Treasury Steve … Continue reading Trump: “We’re doing f***ing amazing” →

26 March 2020 As of yesterday, approximately one quarter of the world's nine billion human residents found themselves in quarantine lockdown due to the unabating onslaught of the COVID-19 novel coronavirus. In other words, the effects of the coronavirus - like it's immediate effect of death and taxes - is inescapable. Thus, having already been … Continue reading COVID and Contemporary Culture: A Global Danse Macabre? →

24 March 2020 Former Hollywood producer and convicted sex criminal Harvey Weinstein has tested positive for coronavirus, according to New York state prison officials, and has consequently been placed in isolation as new charges are levied against him. As reported by prison medical staff, Weinstein tested positive following time out of the prison during his … Continue reading Harvey Weinstein Tests Positive for Coronavirus →

24 March 2020 As the current COVID-19 global pandemic continues to hold the nations of the world in a vise-like grip and dramatically affect both domestic and international affairs, local man Tony Carcossone aged 31 is quietly hoping that the inundation of state and federal government structures with coronavirus response measures will quietly allow his … Continue reading Local Man: “So, COVID Means No DUI Prosecution, Right?” →

18 March 2020 Well yellow there, you sour ol' Warren lovin' commies! It's your boy, the Nuge. Ya'll finding yourself gettin' that cat scratch corona cabin fever? Me too! Because as we all be knowin', all this COVID bs is just a liberal conspiracy starting by the Chinese and the Democrats. I hate to see … Continue reading Laid off due to COVID-19? Ted Nugent will pay to hunt you for sport →

10 March 2020 Following last week's disappointing results on Super Tuesday, Elizabeth Warren has suspended her campaign for president in this election cycle. Despite her almost certain disappointment, the Massachusetts senator attempted to put a positive spin on her withdrawal during an interview with WikiLeeks over the weekend. "Of course I'm disappointed to bow out … Continue reading Warren Looks Forward to Break Following Campaign Failure →

4 March 2020 Late Monday, the United States Centers for Disease Control (CDC) released new survival guidelines to address the impending arrival of the COVID-19 coronavirus. According to sources at CDC, certain degrees of "social distancing" will help to mitigate the rapid spread of COVID-19. According to public health practitioners, "social distancing" involves the general … Continue reading 30 Year Old Antisocial Cat Mom Selected by CDC as COVID-19 Spokesperson →

4 March 2020 Hello bestest American and other foreigner reader friends! It has been too longs since Vlad is writing to all favorite comrades worldwide! Sometimes Vlad is hearing that winter dark times is making other peoples sad for spring time ice times. This is crazys! Winter times is best times: Secret police making many … Continue reading Just Putin’ Around: The Bestest of Times! →

28 February 2020 "For I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds - says the Lord." - Jeremiah 30: 17 Yesterday, President Donald Trump placed Vice-President Mike Pence - the same man who once attempted to utilize prayer as the chief means of addressing an HIV outbreak in his home state … Continue reading Coronavirus 2019: Pence to the Rescue →

25 February 2020 While he might still be a recently exonerated criminal on North American shores, President Donald J. Trump was received like a conquering hero upon his arrival in India early yesterday. In a scene oddly reminiscent of Disney's 1992 masterpiece Aladdin, Trump arrived in Gujurat - the ancestral home of Indian PM Narendra … Continue reading Large Parade and Massive Synchronized Song Marks Beginning of Trump’s Indian Visit →