29 October 2019 Once again, hellacious wildfires are consuming the state of California - consuming all in their fiery path. Dry weather – combined with what the National Weather Service refers to as “extreme fire behavior” – has resulted in what is becoming an all-to-familiar phenomenon for the nation’s most hella chill residents. According to … Continue reading A West Coast Remix: California Fires Rage On… But How Did It All Start? →

22 October 2019 Following months of growing speculation by the armchair Twitterati, Mitt Romney revealed Sunday that he was, in fact, the author of a clandestine Twitter account under the name Francois de la Peau, which he has secretly been using for several years. A frequent critic of the Twitterverse free-for-all, no holds barred cage … Continue reading Secret Romney “Lurker” Account Outed →

18 October 2019 Wow wow wee wow wow – it is so most greatest to once again be speaking to American friends and WikiLeeks readers once again! Vlad is so sorry for not writing more; you know Vlad loves American comrades like Gulag likes journalist or angry guitar Pussy lesbian! As Vlad is sayings, with … Continue reading Just Putin Around: Uncle Vlad Busy Busy in Sandbox Land! →

15 October 2019 Last week, as the domestic political row concerning the Democratic Party's latest soon-to-fail impeachment movement of President Trump continues to pick up its doomed pace, two associates of Trump's personal lawyer - Rudy Giuliani - were apprehended at Washington Dulles Airport attempting to flee the country. The pair - political financiers and … Continue reading Former Slytherin Quidditch Stars Caught Trying to Flee US, Arrested on Campaign Finance Charges →

11 October 2019 The National Basketball Association (NBA) has come under fire during the last week following tweets by Houston Rocket’s owner Daryl Morey decrying the flagrant violation of human rights and free speech occurring in Hong Kong at the hands of Chinese communist authorities. In a long since deleted tweet, Morey exercised his American … Continue reading Harden Comments Trigger Backlash →

10 October 2019 Late Tuesday afternoon, in response to a growing Congressional movement seeking to impeach United States President Donald Trump, the White House released a letter to Speaker Nancy Pelosi and other top Democrats refusing to cooperate in what the administration has consistently referred to as a “witch hunt” and radically partisan “kangaroo court.” … Continue reading US Government Overran with Abrasive Marsupials – US Republicans →

9 October 2019 The world awoke early Monday morning to find United States military forces slowly evacuating their position along the northern Syrian front, apparently in a coordinated, slow withdrawal from the conflict zone that has claimed tens of thousands of lives over the last decade. And indeed – as many international analysts had suspected … Continue reading Trump OKs next genocide for Turkey, cites “kinda busy at home” →

20 September 2019 In an alarming report released late Wednesday night, the CDC revealed that a shocking number of Americans - approximately 95 out of every 100 American citizens - are now infected with an unknown and irreversible illness of the lungs as a direct result of America's recent spike in e-cigarette consumption. Despite the … Continue reading CDC: 95/100 Americans have a vaping-related illness →

19 September 2019 An eccentric teacher, a pet Jackson's chameleon, a beguilingly diverse classroom, and weekly mind-bending, school bus-based adventures that would shame Ken Kesey: Today, as many of its original fans increasingly look to educated their own children, PBS's iconic children's show 'The Magic School Bus' turns twenty five years old. 'The Magic School Bus', … Continue reading PBS’s ‘The Magic School Bus’ turns 25 →

17 September 2019 Abandoning the arid hills outside Los Angeles for a megachurch in Atlanta, Georgia, Kanye West continued to conflate his unique neurochemical deficiencies with some sort of hackneyed religious understanding last weekend as the prominent hip-hop artist and Trump-supporter hosted yet another edition of his popular "Sunday Service" programs. Local media in the … Continue reading Kanye Preaches ‘radical obedience’ to Jesus during latest Sunday Service →